One of these ways became very clear to me during the fall. I started to realize that it can be irritating to people when another person kind of assumes that they know all there is to know about that person. Maybe that person doesn't think that they really do know all there is to know about the other person, or maybe they really do. Either way, the attitude that becomes apparent, where they jump to conclusions about what you would do, or what you would say, or what it must be like in your family, or in your home, seems rather arrogant at times, doesn't it?
I'm not saying that every time that someone makes an assumption about my character that I'm annoyed by it. That's not true at all. But the attitude with which the person makes these assumptions make a lot of difference. That attitude mainly boils down to whether or not there is a real arrogance about it. For example, someone you know thinks they know all there is to know about your life because you were homeschooled, and they knew people who were homeschooled and also knew a lot about their lives. So when you're in a situation that might be different for a homeschooler, they jump to conclusions about you and say: "Oh I bet this is weird for you," or "You must be thinking...," or "You probably are ready to...."
This is not the same as when someone asks an honest question because they are curious about the way you see something or the way you experience things. I'm trying to put my finger on what really and truly makes the difference, so bear with me.
I think what it comes to, honestly, is a sense of wonder. This has been a recurring theme lately: the intentional stepping back from something and just letting ourselves enter into wonder and amazement at something. This wonder, I think, can be applied to the person. We need to take a step back from the people in our lives, even those whom we have known for our whole lives, and realize that we do not know everything about them. In truth, we cannot know everything about a person because each person is unique. We do not know their interior self. Even if they are very open with us, we don't know everything about them. Only God knows us that well, and even better: He knows us better than we know ourselves!
Wonder. Stepping back and recognizing that we don't know everything there is to know about this person, and that, to whatever extent, they are still mysterious, and just being amazed at them for who they are, for who God has made them. I think we can tell when people do that. There is this look of genuine curiosity and amazement at or interest in the person that we are.
This wonder requires a humility towards the person. A humility that puts us in a state of wonder. This is a humble recognition that there is so much to this person before us. So much that we don't know, as well as what we do know.
We can learn from Jesus' humility. He knows absolutely everything about us. He knows us more deeply and even better than we know ourselves. But yet, as He expressed to St. Faustina, He still wants us to tell Him what's going on in our lives. He loves to hear our voices. He longs for that intimate conversation with us. At the same time, He reveals to us in Scripture what this wonder towards the person looks like. The apostles, who knew Him so well, often were amazed (and even frightened) at Who Jesus was! "Who is this that even the wind and the seas obey Him?" On the contrary, Jesus said of the people of Nazareth, His hometown, that they had no respect for Him because a prophet is never respected in his own hometown. "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house" (Mark 6:4). The people of Nazareth had seen Jesus grow up and learn the trade of carpentry in the home of Mary and Joseph. They thought they knew all about Jesus. But when He shows up and starts doing miracles and saying these incredible things, they are all confused. They jump to conclusions and even accusations because they know Jesus' background...or so they think. Do they really know Him? They know about Him, sure enough. But do they know HIM? It would seem not.
That's all I've got for now. But I hope that it was interesting and informative, and maybe it'll help you to examine yourself more and realize your own need to wonder at the people around you and at our God, as well, Who always has so much more to Him than we can know now. :) God bless!
